Here I am, Lord. - John Michael Talbot, SFO

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Jesus' love for us was intense and complete and Francis wanted to experience it perfectly!

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". . . and second, that I may feel in my heart as far as possible that excess of love by which You, O Son of God, were inflamed to undertake so cruel a suffering for us sinners."
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Jesus was Divine Love in human form. He brought this Divine love into the world in a new and wonderful way. His love was revealed not only in His desire to be born in human flesh but in His willingness to endure suffering, with that flesh, on the cross for us.

What great and holy mysteries these are! The scriptures indicate that God is unknowable - He is far beyond anything we can understand - and, in the same way, love is just as mysterious for Jesus tells us that, 'God is LOVE'. It is for this reason that when people say the word 'love' it inspires thoughts of the most beautiful, profound and joyful experiences we've had in our lives. In the same way, even when talking about the people in our lives who we love, it is almost too hard to discuss, since the feelings can be so powerful!

Jesus said, "A man will lay down his life for his friends. You are My friends if you do what I tell you". That is exactly what Jesus did for you and me - laid down His life. Later, we read where Jesus was betrayed by Judas. His response to the 'kiss of betrayal' was, "My friend, why have you come?!" Jesus was our friend even though we prove (like Judas) that we are not His friend. However, though Jesus knew what Judas had already done and that his kiss was a cover for the crime of betrayal - and that Judas' words, "Lord, Lord!" were a lie - Jesus remained Judas friend. He was true to Judas all the way to the cross.

When I was a young child I felt very unloved and so grew up wondering what the word meant. During my childhood, family and friends had betrayed my trust in them - by physically and psychologically abusing me or by neglect. I remember calling out to God in desperation, "You tell me to love others but . . . how can I love other's when I don't love myself or even know what love means!?"

God answered my cry and in the most wonderful way! The most positive relationships I had at the time were those with my friends. So, in God's efforts to reach out to me with His love, He presented Himself to me as a friend. Over time He gave me a 'working' definition of love: love meant never deserting a friend but standing by him, through 'thick and thin'. In addition it meant my friend, God, wanted to be with me throughout each day - just because He loved my company! He 'earned' my trust by being a true friend and, since then, I've learned that trust is the foundation that true love is built upon.

We all know that no one should be trusted who has proven to be untrustworthy. But even family, friends and one's spouse will, at some point, let us down. Our selfish way of thinking as well as our short-sightedness and insensitivity, cause us to fail each other. The only one that we can truly rely upon is God. He is perfect in both love, knowledge and power and will never fail us. He has proven the dependability of His love since the beginning of time and showed it by ultimately sacrificing Himself on the cross. He acts toward each of us purely out of love, is always faithful to His promises and wants only what is good for us. Finally, he has the wisdom and power to do all He has promised. Alleluia!

Therefore, it isn't unreasonable for Him to expect us to rely upon Him completely, to truly trust Him. The true test of our faith in Him is whether, even when it appears He may be failing us, we retain our confidence in Him. Jesus maintained His faith in His Father even while on the cross, showing us, by example, that we should and can do the same thing. We know that God is good, that only good comes from Him and that, even if things look bad, God has some good purpose for the pain and sorrow we are experiencing. We can be confident that He will eventually deliver us from these heartaches. This is the true test of your faith - the fullest expression of your belief in His love and goodness. This is also what Francis knew already but wanted to know more perfectly, more fully.

Jesus has always been faithful to me - even when, at times, I doubted or proved unfaithful to Him. He never failed to be patient and understanding, forgiving and encouraging, loving and helpful toward me - no matter the state of my faith. He never left my side, never failed to listen to my prayers and never stopped showering me with His blessings. However, when I turned from faith in Him, I walked away from His grace and goodness - causing myself to suffer needlessly and missing the 'opportunity' God was giving me, in the trial, to experience more fully His power and love in my life.

However, believing in God, in His goodness and His love isn't easy, especially during hard times. I have a son that was born with cerebral palsy and he was powerfully impacted physically and mentally. He will need to be cared for throughout his life. His condition makes it hard, at times, to believe that God has allowed this to happen for 'good' reasons. Sometimes my worries over my son cause me to struggle with my faith in God. However, with His help, I have been able, thus far, to triumph over worries and doubts. That is why I continue to rejoice in my son (even rejoicing in his current physical and mental conditions - since they are good!) and the blessing that he is, and will continue to be, in my life. I have already (spiritually and in other ways) seen some of these great works and expect to see more during his life. God IS good!

Francis wanted to be a 'true and reliable' friend to Jesus'. He knew what true 'friendship' was because He had learned it from Jesus Himself - both in his personal relationship with Him but also while meditating on His faithfulness to love during His sufferings. St. Paul said, "Jesus became perfect through the things that He suffered." Francis' understanding of God's love was also gained during the times he suffered, like Jesus, for the love of God. Francis' understanding came out of his willingness to be self-sacrificing and selfless in his love for God.

One night, on Mt. Alverna, Francis' prayer was answered most miraculously, both in his heart and in his flesh. He was given the gift of the Stigmata and His life was transformed into that of Christ - in spirit and in the flesh. Thereafter, His body and life became the 'banner of the Lord's victory of love and faith' in this world and for eternity. The wounds of Christ, His loving sacrifice, was renewed in the world for all men to see. Alleluia! How wonderful the miraculous works of God's love, in the world and in our hearts!

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