Francis prays to understand and feel the love and pain of Jesus Crucified.

Francis feels for Jesus and refuses to run when the suffering and pain comes - determined to stand by his Friend and give whatever support he can.

Francis said, "Oh Lord Jesus Christ, I entreat You to give me two graces before I die: first, that in my lifetime I may feel in body and soul as far as possible the pain You endured, dear Lord, in the hour of Your most bitter sufferings."

A 'grace' is another way of saying a 'gift'. What kind of a gift is this?! Francis asks for something that most people run away from - pain. He says above that he wants to experience this pain in his body and soul, and also, in effect says that a little pain is not enough. He wants to experience the same pain Jesus felt.

Did Francis fully understand what he was asking for? No one suffered like Jesus - emotionally, spiritually and physically. Science has proven that there is no way for a person to suffer such intense pain, for such a long time, other than through crucifixion. In addition, most of those who were crucified never had to endure being beaten all night by the guards of the high priests and also by the Roman soldiers. Finally, Jesus was whipped with a 'cat 'o nine' (a capital punishment in itself at the time) - which tore His body terribly. Jesus was never impaired mentally and the evil that they were doing to Him broke His heart. At one point His spiritual struggle crushed Him. He felt that His heavenly Father had deserted Him and cried out in agony, "My God! My God, why have You forsaken me?!" Francis wanted to understand Jesus sufferings and what better way than to actually experience those sufferings himself?

But why? What was he hoping to accomplish thereby? I believe Francis wanted to know Jesus as fully as possible, following Him, being with Him, all the way to the end of His 'earthly' life. It was Jesus' sufferings (for love) that he sought, not Francis' own punishment (which was something he suffered prior to this time) for his sins. He could only understand Jesus and the depths of Jesus' love by understanding what Jesus willingly went through during His passion. In addition, Francis, with his pure and selfless love, wanted to share Jesus' suffering with Him.

We've all heard about 'fair weather friends' - they vanish when the 'weather' gets bad. Jesus was not like that but proved His commitment to Francis by giving His own life for him. Francis wanted to be the same kind of friend for Jesus - standing by Him when He was beaten and broken, unloved and unwanted - when His need was greatest and (most) others had abandoned Him. He wanted to comfort and encourage Jesus by helping Him to carry His great burden of love.

Suffering interiorly during private devotions was not enough for Francis. Francis was determined to bring his faith into the real world - in his own flesh - like Jesus had. Love was more than just something you felt in your heart. It was something you lived - showing it, in and through your body, by hard physical labor and with "blood, sweat and tears" during the effort. Francis wanted every cell in his body to proclaim to God, "I love You!" and to proclaim to the world, "Love Him who loved You first and best!"

Francis was spiritually mature. He was fervent and persistent in trying to love and serve Christ. But he desperately wanted to do more. Because His love for Christ was so great he wanted to sacrifice everything he was (body and soul) for Christ. This is something hard to fathom and maybe, because we don't have Francis' understanding, we can't imagine wanting to do this for Jesus ourselves.

However, all of us want to walk in the way of Francis - following Francis as he followed Christ. We must recall what Christ said, "You must deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me." Jesus didn't say you 'might' or 'could' deny yourself. He said you MUST.

Jesus might not, at this point in your walk of faith, expect you to pray like Francis and it is possible that we may never suffer like him. However, it is good to meditate both on the cross of Christ and the love that compelled Him to go there for us. It is His love that should be our focus. St. Paul said, "I don't want to know anything from you or about you except to hear from your lips about Christ and about Him crucified."

We should visit Christ on the cross (through meditation and prayer), adoring, loving and wondering at His love for us. Like Francis, we should spend a good part of our spiritual lives gazing on the one who loved us so powerfully and completely. This can be done in vigil before the Blessed Sacrament, during the Stations of the Cross and finally by meditating on the sorrowful mysteries of the Rosary.

Meditating on the various events of Jesus's life is always good but nothing is so profoundly beautiful or spiritually significant than kneeling at the foot of the cross and looking into the dear face of our loving Savior Jesus. Let us join Mary, the weeping Mother of Jesus, Mary Magadalene and the 'Beloved' disciple, John, in their vigil. Those who go there are able to observe the most important moments of God's good work for man. If you do this you will find good company there. Know for certain that it is where the entire church (glorified, suffering and militant) gathers in time and eternity, to adore our Savior, Jesus. Don't be left out. Time is short!