Here I am, Lord. - John Michael Talbot, SFO

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

God might not heal us from illness but will give us strength to endure patiently.

Francis teaches us that everything we experience must be used to serve the spirit - especially illness and physical disabilities: the temporal serving the eternal, the physical serving the spiritual.

We don't know if Francis was born a sickly child or became sickly over the course of his life. We know Francis was neither a tall nor a strong looking individual. He was described as being of "slight build, short and insignificant looking." While in his late teens he became an imprisoned 'enemy combatant' (during a war between Assisi and Perugia) and became ill during that long year. After being released, it took him some time to recover from the ordeal and illness (possibly a year or two). Also it appears that for a good part of his life he suffered many chronic illnesses and diseases - including eye diseases, internal issues, etc. His constant (extreme) fasting, exposure to the elements (he was 'homeless') and hard traveling without basic necessities (as well as other self-imposed austerities) didn't help his fragile health. Francis' body suffered terribly throughout his brief life.

Francis wasn't 'Iron Man' and felt both the pain of his illnesses as well as the weakness that came from them. He often prayed for God's help: "Lord, take pity on my infirmities, so that I may be able to bear them patiently."

Francis called God his "Lord" and knew that a servant serves his master before worrying about his own needs. However, a servant can depend on his (good) master to take care of his servants needs. Francis knew, because God is so good, that he could rely on His help. He also knew that he did not always know what was best for himself so trusted God to do what was best for him as well as guide him in making the right decisions for himself. He knew that God had His reasons (good ones) for allowing Francis to suffer.

Since God "can do all things", (including healing) it was right for Francis to go to the 'great Physician' for help with his illnesses. This doesn't mean he didn't try to get help from physician's (he did!) but God (who is always near) was the first one he went to. Francis instilled this confidence in his followers since whenever they were confronted by life's difficulties he would remind them of what God had said through St. Paul, "Put your worries in God's hands because He truly cares for you."

We can see (in his prayer) that Francis didn't ask God to either relieve his pain or make his illness better. (This is not to say that, in other prayers, he did not ask for healing or that it is wrong for us to ask. We all know that Jesus healed all the weak, sick or disabled persons He came across during His earthly ministry. However, after we have asked God to heal us for a decent amount of time and have not being healed, we should rightly conclude that, at least at this time, it is not God's will to heal us!) Francis (in this case) asked only for strength to endure the pain of his illnesses and to do so 'patiently.'

Francis never paid much attention to his body or his physical needs. He knew God was taking care of him and was doing 'good' to him - since he saw all things with 'the eyes of faith'. There was no reason for him to worry about these problems. He believed in what Jesus said: "So do not worry; do not say, 'What are we to eat? What are we to drink? How are we to be clothed?' It is those who do not know the good Lord who set their hearts on all these things. Your heavenly Father knows you need them all. Set your hearts on His kingdom first and on doing what He says is right and all these others things will be given you as well. So do not worry about tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own!"

Like the rest of us, Francis had little control over the world as well as over his own body. However, like us, he had control over his own mind and heart. God did not expect Francis to be responsible for what things happened to him in the world but also taught Francis that he was responsible for how he reacted to those things - what his response was.

Jesus talked about this responsibility we all have to act in the right way in the face of evil. He pointed out that, first of all, all evil comes from within us - "from the hearts of men." Jesus said a man could commit murder and adultery within his own heart and would be condemned by God for it - even if he never actually attacked anyone nor had sex. Finally, remember our church teaches us that "we are responsible for sins of omission as well as for commission". St. James said, "to know to do good and not to do it, is a sin." Therefore, even when things are going badly in our lives or people are doing wrong to us, we are expected to be like our heavenly Father who "causes His sun to rise on bad men as well as good and His rain to fall on honest and dishonest men alike . . . You must, therefore, be perfect just as Your heavenly Father is perfect." We must not allow the evil within us to get the better of us but, through God, get the strength to do good to all, even when we are feeling poorly and being treated badly.

Francis was a spiritual man - more focused on the 'things of the spirit', than those of the 'flesh' (the concerns of this earthly life). He never forgot his obligation to our heavenly Father to be faithful - even in the midst of his illness and ever pressing poverty. He knew that all of these experiences were opportunities to become pure and see God more clearly so he rarely lost this focus - took advantages of each of these opportunities to come to know God better and to grow in love .

In tried to imagine how Francis might have thought about these matters: "My illness makes it hard for me to serve God because it distracts me from my prayers, interferes with my desire to serve God, clouds my mind with worry and discomfort and makes it harder to feel God's joy. I know my obligation to God does not stop just because I am ill. It appears that God wants me to be ill but I know it is not His will that I be irritated, frustrated and angry - things that are sinful and sensual in nature. The spiritual response I should have is to be patient, understanding, grateful to God, joyful and peaceful in God, as well as generous and kind to others. But this pain is so great that I don't feel I have the strength to act the way Jesus has shown me. It is only right for God, my loving and faithful Father, to help me to do it - since I can't do it without His help. I need His strength to act in the ways Jesus showed me are right. So I will pray (and keep on praying) until He does help me"

No one is arguing that feeling sick or being weak is easy. However, we must not forget what God's will is for us in this life: The goal of all life's experiences - the meaning of all our suffering - is to enable us to experience true love, God's love, for eternity. That is why St. Paul says, "With God on our side who can be against us!? Since God did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up to benefit us all, we may be certain, after such a gift, that he will not refuse anything He can give . . . Nothing therefore can come between us and the love of Christ, even if we are troubled or worried, or being persecuted, or lacking food or clothes, or being threatened or even attacked . . . these are the trials through which we triumph, by the power of Him who loved us. For I am certain of this: neither death nor life, no angel . . . nothing that exists, nothing still to come, not any power . . . nor any created thing, can ever come between us and the love of God made visible in Christ Jesus our Lord." Therefore, through illnesses and weakness, if endured with faith and in holy obedience, we will come to know more perfectly the love of God.

Do you allow your pain to get the better of you, weakening your faith in God and causing your peace and joy to vanish? How do you get God's strength to persevere during your illness? Are you praying fervently throughout your day like Francis did? Are you clinging to the promises of God - relying on Him and are you taking time to praise God for the good He is working in your life through these hardships? St. Paul said, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Jesus said, "In the world you shall have trouble. But, be encouraged for I have overcome the world."

You determine how you react to these trials. You can give in to despair - stop trusting God and stop trying to do the good He wants you to do - or, by placing your hope in God, you can grow in faith and love. Jesus can get you through any trial, for He promised, "Behold, I am with you always, even to the ends of the world and to the end of time."

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