Make God your all!

Francis inspires another, by his prayer, to forsake the world and follow him in the footsteps of Christ!

Bernard de Quintavilla had invited Francis to dinner and then, to spend the night in his palacio. Bernard was a resident of the city of Assisi, a wealthy nobleman and a knight, but also one who truly loved God. He had heard about the strange activities and behavior of Francis of late. In addition, he had observed Francis' constant joy and holy determination to do what was right even when being abused and humiliated by the people of Assisi (and even by his own family). Francis' faith in God seemed to have produced in him that " peace that passes understanding", "a joy that could not be put into words" as well as God's "limitless love" - true treasures of the heart! Bernard had been moved both by Francis' life as well as his spiritual earnestness and that is why he had invited Francis to eat and spend the night. Bernard wanted to see for himself whether Francis was truly a lover of God.

Francis enjoyed both a joyous and spirited conversation with Bernard as well as the dinner. After being invited to spend the night and being shown where he could sleep (in the same room that Bernard used), Francis promptly announced that he was very tired and prepared for bed. He soon lay down and Bernard also, minutes later, retired to his bed for the night. Francis appeared to fall asleep immediately, his breathing becoming rhythmic. Bernard himself feigned sleep by snoring loudly.

Soon thereafter, Bernard observed Francis quietly get out of bed. Francis went to a far corner of the large room and got to his knees. He lifted hands and face to heaven and began to pray fervently, tears of sorrow (and of joy!) pouring from his eyes as he prayed earnestly throughout the night:

"My God and my All!"

What did Francis mean by this prayer? He wasn't praying for anyone or anything; wasn't doing 'penance' (prayers in which one examines one's conscience and weeps tears of sorrow over the sins committed during the day); wasn't worshipping God or offering God thanks in gratitude for blessings recieved. What kind of prayer was this?!

It is recorded that, at a later date, he told Bernard in explanation that what he actually meant in his prayer was: "Who are you, O God most dear, and who am I, Your worthless, useless little worm of a servant!"

Both prayers are simple - contain few words - and yet they are profound and powerful, revealing Francis' spiritual depths. Francis knew what Jesus' had said about prayer, "Do not make long prayers like the pharisses for they think they will be heard because they use a lot of words." It is not the 'words' that make the prayer but fervent desire and intent of the heart, things that St. Paul called the "unutterable cries". The words are just the tools we use to give direction to these cries - so you don't need many - they just need to be fervent. Even though Francis' prayer was short in length it actually lasted throughout the night! How did He do this? With concentration, determination, earnestness and great fervor. Francis shot this short simple prayer like an arrow of love into the heart of God, using his whole being as the bow!

How many of us feel that God is our all? Jesus indicated that this is how we should feel when He said, "Love God with your WHOLE heart, mind, body and soul." How can we love someone (even God) like this? All lovers of God have said that they have found, in their experience of God, that He is profound, beautiful, sublime, sweet, fulfilling and wonderful. This makes sense when looking at the amazing world around us that He created. Why we can see it so clearly in the many amazing people in our world - God made them all so they are a reflection on Him! Also, their experience of the love of God was so beautiful that it surpassed any love they had experienced from the important people in their lives: spouses, children and parents. Aiming to know God as 'our all' is not only a basic part of our faith journey but results in the only complete fulfillment that a human being can experience, in this life (and eternity) .

Francis' 'explanatory' prayer provides further insights into Francis' spiritual maturity. He sees God as being 'dear' - precious and of ultimate importance. In looking at himself as being nothing but a worthless 'worm' he sought to lower himself in his own eyes so as to be able to see God who is so humble Himself. Jesus gave the key when He said "it is in dieing that you come to life". No one is more humble than God (look at Him in the Eucharist!) so it makes sense that, to be with Him, to see and experience Him, we also must be very humble.

Francis did not intend to put down worms. He believed they were important and valuable to God and so were as well to Francis. Francis often saved worms when the rains forced them on to the paths where men walked. Francis knew himself to be worthy as well of God's love because God made him and all creatures "good". However, in comparision to God, everything else is . . . nothing. God is so profoundly above and beyond mankind in value, beauty and goodness that there really is no comparison. Francis knew this intellectually but was trying to powerfully impress this upon his heart - the seat of change.

What was Francis' prayer? What did He want God to give him? Francis was asking (as seen in the 'explanatory' prayer) that God reveal Himself. Francis wanted to experience God's wonder, beauty and goodness (purely and perfectly) and get His help getting himself out of the way, so that He could have more of God.

Francis was a mystic - one who gained his knowledge of God through experiencing God directly. His willingness to 'die to self', his fervent earnest desire and simple sincere prayer - touched the heart of God. We all know that God answered his prayer and Francis knew that mystical state that St. Paul described as "God being all, in all". St. Paul described this state as being 'paradise' or 'heaven'. God did become everything to Francis. What goal do you have for your relationship with God? Listen to God calling you into the depths of His love. He is calling you by name. Say 'yes' to His love and find yourself . . . transformed in love, into love.