Here I am, Lord. - John Michael Talbot, SFO

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

"He who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is not worthy of the Kingdom of Heaven (God)!" and "Those who sow to the flesh shall reap corruption while those who sow to the spirit shall reap everlasting life."

Francis is tempted to get 'comfortable' but, by God's grace is able to recognize the danger in that temptation and whole-heartedly reapply himself to seeking God.

Francis had forsaken home, family and friends - and was making good progress in his spiritual 'pilgrimage'. The break with his past had been clear. He had turned his back on this world: it's values, 'convenient' ways of doing things, it's pursuits in life and it's comforts. He had also turned away from self-reliance - the confidence most men place in themselves (others or things) to provide for all of their temporal needs - rather than relying on God.

Francis' life was hard but he was mentally prepared for it. The battle (in his mind, his will), was always near, as was the enemy. Francis knew that this enemy lay within him, in his heart, and therefore, the battle to remain faithful lay within as well. The circumstances of his life might bring him and his enemy together for battle but those circumstances, no matter how difficult, would not be the cause of his falling away from Christ or his leaving the path of life. It would be either his own fear (lack of trust in God) or sinful desire (for sensual things and experiences) that would be his down fall.

Francis was anxious to get the prize for winning the battle. He knew it would be to know the pure and perfect love of God! The peace given by God would be as all-encompassing as the Universe! The joy that would well up in his heart would compel him to laugh and sing aloud to all creatures, proclaiming the infinite goodness of God! He was already experiencing these gifts from God - a first taste of paradise - and that encouraged him to try harder, reach further, in his faith!
Francis was living in the church he was repairing. He worked hard all day and it was back-breaking work. Although he was exhausted at the end of the day he still needed to eat, to get food! He had learned what God wanted him to do; to go begging for whatever God inspired others to give him. This was the pattern of life God had given him and though it was hard - it was also good, spiritually rewarding. However, this rigorous life-style did take it's toll, physically and mentally, on him.

Francis wasn't alone during his efforts to repair the church. There was a good priest who lived in a little house next to it. He was a simple country priest, poor, as were those whom he served. He did, however, make a decent living from the offerings of the people and had a relatively comfortable life - not a luxurious life but not a hard (back-breaking) one either.

He was probably suspicious of Francis at first - wondering what the young man was up to when he offered (for no wages!) to do repairs on the little church. Francis appeared earnest and started right in when given permission. The priest found Francis to be always cheerful - singing praises to God - as he worked. He never complained or imposed himself on the priest in any way. Francis was always glad to talk with him about the goodness of God and also help him with whatever needed to be done. The priest's affection and confidence in Francis grew over time.

The priest could not help but notice that Francis was very strict with himself and was suffering as a result - even though, every day, he sang joyfully while at work. He began to worry about Francis' health for Francis worked non-stop, hardly ate and slept in the cold church. The priests heart was breaking over what he saw Francis doing to himself. How could he not be as generous to (poverty stricken) Francis as Francis had been to him?

The good priest, in his concern and affection, began to do little things to make Francis' life more comfortable. It started with a little warm broth, now and again. Perhaps some blankets and a candle for the cold dark nights. Perhaps a late evening invitation for some friendly conversation in front of the warm fireplace in his cottage. There were other little things he did.

Francis appreciated the kindness of the priest. It was nice to see a friendly face each morning on awakening and at the end of a long hard day of work. Also, it was a relief to not have to go begging for scraps - sometimes getting little and poor offerings as well as experiencing humiliation. The other gifts also made the work (and life) pass more easily. The work never stopped, the late night prayers continued - but they weren't taking the toll on his body (or mind) that they had before the priest started sharing with him.

However, Francis didn't feel the way he did when he had first started the work. Something was wrong, was now missing in his life. Francis couldn't put his finger on any sin he was committing. Yet, Francis' spiritual progress had slowed and his fervor for God had cooled. He also noted a diminishing of his peace and joy, and yes, his experience of the love of God.

After musing on these things Francis realized the reasons for his set-backs and angrily said to himself: Do not get used to this nice treatment – you will gradually return to what you have spurned and go yearning again for delicacies. Get right up now and beg from door to door for your mixed victuals!

But what is wrong in treating yourself nicely? There is no sin in eating well, sleeping enough or being comfortable. Yet Francis saw a danger in them - in accepting 'comfort' as a way of life. He realized that feeling comfortable makes us want to stay comfortable - even at the expense of meeting our responsibilities to God and others. He knew that always wanting to feel comfortable led to the habit of seeking pleasure (delicacies) and who can get enough of that?! He knew that he would begin to walk on that proverbial, 'slippery slope'.

Jesus said, "Wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to death and . . . many are those who go down that way!" In another place Jesus is quoted as saying, "Easy is the way . . .". Francis had had enough of what is pleasurable and comfortable in this world and life before leaving it to follow Jesus. He knew that way of life didn't answer the needs or questions of his heart. For this reason he didn't want what was easy but what was right, what was good and holy - what pleased God and ended in life, abundant and eternal. He WANTED the hard way - the way of the cross!

But, God made the world and everything good in it. He made it for man to have, to use and to enjoy. This was God's plan from the beginning so why would any righteous man reject the world and it's pleasures - reject God's plan for him? God also made the human body and made it capable of comfort and pleasure. Don't we have an obligation, then, to let it act 'normally'?

Francis knew that his first obligation was to God. It was to do what Jesus (and Moses) taught: We must love God with all our whole heart, mind, body and spirit. He knew that the body (our natural physical processes) had become 'disordered' after Adam's fall from faith in the Garden - were not acting properly. The body - with all of it's disordered desires - chose to first seek it's own pleasure, comfort and other 'sensual' things rather God's desires and will for us. This is why Francis looked on his body (initially) as an enemy. St. Paul was speaking about our physical body when he said, "Who shall save us from the body of this death?!" The Apostles all came to call this 'spiritual' part of us that seemed unconcerned that it's actions would end up destroying us the "flesh". Paul said that "We must crucify the flesh with all of it's desires . . . " if we hope to enter God's presence, one day, in joy.

Francis, with a strong exhortation to himself, gets back on the right track - the path of Christ. Francis knew he NEEDED to go and beg - it was for his own good for it killed pride, the flesh and gave nourishment to the spirit. It wasn't so much that he was rejecting the good things of this world as choosing (first) the good things (which are eternal) in the next. Francis wasn't rejecting the kindness of the priest but reasserting for himself the importance of depending on God first and foremost. He didn't want to depend on any thing or any man for his needs, for as Jesus said to the devil when He was tempted, "Man does not live by bread alone but by every word the comes from the mouth of God".

Are you getting comfortable in your spiritual life - making satisfactory spiritual progress? Are you beginning to compromise the high standard that Christ set for you (that 'straight and narrow road' that is so difficult)? Remember our goal is to be like Jesus - to act, speak, think and feel like Him. Are you rationalizing away the sacrifices that Christ told us we must make to follow Him(and that He Himself made for love of you)? Are you finding that your faith and love for Jesus are declining rather than increasing? Is you joy becoming dim, your peace fading and the fire of love about to 'flicker' out in your heart and life? Francis roused himself, shook himself up and brushed the spiritual cobwebs off. He cleared his mind, refocused himself on his goals and got right up to do God's will. We must do the same.

Francis looked on his body as his enemy but eventually had to repent for all the harm he caused it. He came to recognize that 'brother body' was the 'servant' of the Lord and deserved both respect and consideration. However, when it wanted something - he always listened with a critical ear, aware of the sneaky ways of the 'flesh' (that sinful nature in all of us). We should also be careful to not hurt our bodies but also be just as careful (as vigilant) to not allow it to lead us away from God and His will for us.

Most of us are not called to live as Francis did (forsaking the world so clearly, so completely) but our spiritual journey is the same as his. We also must reject the world and it's values, turn away from a selfish and sensual life and dedicate everything we do every day to His glory (in all holiness and purity). This is the path of life (the way of the Cross) - that way in which all those who proclaim their love and faith in God live. This is also the Franciscan way of life - the Gospel in all it's power, goodness and glory. Let's not turn back, not look back, but keep our eyes on the prize and push on in our efforts to know, love and serve Jesus! Remember Lot's wife?! God's goodness and glory call us. Let's not end up a pillar of salt - mere dust in the wind!

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